*sigh* reflux

this is a personal blog alert...


i am sitting here trying to resist it all. trying to resist the subliminals, trying to resist the throwback, trying to resist flipping out and trying to recover the wall that i put up. i have no voice, i have no energy, my body is weak. my fresh hair is slept on, my eyes have cried again. i keep remembering what i promised myself January 1, 2006 and how it took 23 days to throw it out the door. some people are never satisfied until they tear you down until you are nothing. they have everything but still want one more thing: your happiness. my heart is aching right now. i cant get out of bed. a question was asked and the silence that followed makes me HATE my mind right now. a beautiful mathematician who cant shake the past... i just want to be left alone but i care too much to do it. i'm still waiting for someone to save me from them, from this situation. i dont feel good AT ALL... and i have no one to talk to about it. i am going to lie back down... i dont want to think about it anymore.