Leah get it right...

God is showing me how much he delivered me from this week. First the hurricane, then my old friend's situation now this. I was on the bus this morning and i notice this little guy waving me down. i look and it's my first real boyfriend. my first EVERYTHING. i look at him like 'OH MY GOD'. he gives me a hug like he's genuinely glad to see me. he's telling me he's on his way to work. i look at his shirt: he works at the cheapy cell phone place Cricket Communications in Oakland. So we're chatting about that because he said he knew he's eventually see me because he figured i was in school. Right he was. I got my life right after him. we went through a LOT. things no one knows really. i almost messed up bad. i ask him how long he's been working there and me nonchalantly says "oh i been out for a year and..." that's all i hear. i say "OUT FROM WHERE???" he was in jail, two years: possesion of a controlled substance. see last i heard from him he was struggling to sell a couple little rocks but apparently before he got busted he was a big baller i guess. for me to be so goody goody i sure have dated some law breaking folks. this negro then proceeds to tell me that he has another open case for gun possesion. i am looking at him and really see where he was taking me and i am so glad my mother LITERALLY beat my ass to make me stop seeing him. he says he always looks at me when he goes to him mom's because they have my pictures on the mantle. he tells me how lucky i am that i am about to graduate from a 4 year university and i am looking at grad schools now. he gave me his number but i dont know if i will ever call. just because you're my first everything doesnt mean you can drag me into that gutter life style. i cannot beleive how i really was on track to make some bad decisions.

all i can think of is how the alpha/maryland/kriss is everything i ever wanted and how different he is from everyone else. i know we cant be more than what we are but he has really shown me i can up my standards because someone of quality can have an interest in me. between him consoling me this week, checking on me, caring about my family, doing so much for me this summer (like driving 7 hours to bring me to cedar point only to ride 3 rides and wait in 3 hour lines with a bad ankle) i truly realize he is a very very very special person. God sent him into my life for a reason and i am glad he has taught me so much in such a short time. he's always so modest but he's one of the best people i met EVEN IF he put my shit on front street in his blog several times (LOL). i did the same. kriss i love you, you are a great friend thank you so much for being there for me.

okay i gotta go to class. i'll update you on my family and make a special entry for my LS later. (spring tide and hot tamale i love you all soooooooo much. this bond could not have been forced, helped or created.)