Blessed are you who are now hungry, for you will be satisfied

i am a nurturer and giver at heart. i am always the one to make other folks feel better. its like thats my main goal in life. i will even sacrafice my own feelings to make others feel better. now often times, this is good enough for me. i am satisfied in seeing others feel better. right now though, i dont. its not good enough anymore. why? because i am 23 and have yet to receive what i give. i cant do it anymore. i went to bed trying to understand what it would be like to have me as a friend. im a damn good friend, girlfriend, lover. whatever. why is that? because i always give more and i am satisfied with so little. i have a humble spirit but why cant i just once get what i want? so i decided to retire. i'll stick with my one friend who does for me what i do for them. she doesnt live here but hell... she's my one friend and i'll stick with her. i'm hungry. i need to be filled up. my generosity is on E. it wants to come out but i am so weary with feeelings of unappreciation. it scares me that i am thinking this way. but the past few months have really taught me some things.