proud to be an american

doesnt the united states sometimes remind you of that chick you used to date that always made everything about her?
"baby i had a bad day. i failed my exam i wont get into grad school"
"oh really? that sucks. damn baby the tip came off my nail, now i gotta pay for a fill in and a new nail"
"but baby my life is ruined"
"bump your life, my manicure is ruined"

so i am sure everyone viewing this has heard about the terror attacks in london. there are many things about this i want to address.

first thing. why do the news reports all of sudden switch from this having to do with iraq to having to do with the g 8 summit? okay why would the terrorists care if we want to end world hunger and global warming? they want us to get the fuck out of their world and to mind our meddling business. who is the us's largest supporter of the war in iraq? great britain under prime minister tony blair's regime. doesnt this make sense. it's not about the olympics being in britain 7 years from now. its not about the g8 summit. if it were dont you think they would have blown up the damn concert in london? please note that prime minister blair is dubya's more attractive twin with a brit accent. did you see his address after the attacks? he was at a loss for words. God forbid he has to give an impromptu speech. he and dubya need to go study some hitler tapes to see how you boost morale and rally the troops. without their speech writers they get this super blank look on their face and watching gw in the background looking all chimpy and befuddled made it even more humorous.

second off: why are they trying to make us beleive these attacks had no warning signs, no messages or anything to alert anyone? BS those attacks were as synchronized as an olympic level swimming team.

okay so now back to my example. the us is the selfish, cocky, conceited, self centered girlfriend all you men have had in your life (ladies if your man is like that please take some time and go read living down low by mr jl king.) every time something happens she brings it back to herself. right now i am listening to the department of homeland defense drivel on about they're going to increase the rainbow of terror to tangerine level BUT ONLY FOR MASS TRANSPORTATION SECTORS. that's right ladies and gents. the terrorists are gonna bomb our one level buses and subways. lets think for a minute. if it was about the US, dont you think they'd have bombed some new york subways? that woulda sent the point right home. if i am going to hurt you on the sly i am not going to do it in the way i did i before because i am expecting you to be guarding yourself in anticipation of that move. see why the whole world loves us?

okay and finally this is to dear sweet pittsburgh. pittsburgh you no longer are the steel capital of the world. you no longer are a mass transportation hub. you are not in the top 10 hot spots of terrorism. so why then are the news channels here interviewing our port authority about how we prevent terrorism here? that's more idiotic than the US beleieving we'll be attacked.. today.. on our buses and subways. we live in pittsburgh not the district of columbia. just because a plane missed downtown pittsburgh by 2 minutes on september 11 doesnt mean they are targeting us. that wasnt on purpose folks. the beemer man single handedly took that plane down in an act of noblity... "LET'S ROLL!!!" they are about to close down the military bases here. they dont want none of pittsburgh.

in closing i would like to say that when the attack does go down i wont be surprised. we miss all the real warning signs while we fiddle faddle with our rainbow colored alert system and "to little to late" terror notifications. i'm high tailing my ass to canda in about 8 years.