What do you do when your every instinct is telling you to abandon ship? You want to try and see if the boat will make it through...

edited to add: this is not a suicidal blog. quite the contrary. this is a blog to keep me happy. i need to vent my irrational thoughts in some way so i dont speak that stupidity out loud. i have a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY good thing in my life right now. something a lot of women wish for and dream of and sometimes my weaknesses make me lose sight of that. i needed to vent that out before i say something stupid and cause myself to lose something very dear to me. you need not know what i am talking about... it's a secret (not very well kept apparently)